Evil Dark Wizards #12 & 35 (Everybody Must Get Cursed)

to the tune of “Rainy Day Women #12 & 35” by Bob Dylan

Well, they’ll curse ya when you’re trying to be so good,
They’ll curse ya just a-like they said they would.
They’ll curse ya when you’re on the Quidditch Pitch.
Then they’ll curse every single wizard and witch.
But I would not feel any worse,
Everybody must get cursed.

Well, they’ll jinx ya when you’re walkin’ ‘long Hogsmeade.
They’ll jinx ya when you’re in your drinking up your mead.
They’ll jinx ya when you’re flying your Nimbus.
They’ll jinx ya when you’re riding the Knight Bus.
But it’s not as bad as you might think,
Everybody must get jinxed.

They’ll hex ya when you’re at your house’s table.
They’ll hex ya when a Gryffindor’s your label.
They’ll hex ya when you’re tryin’ to take your N.E.W.T.
They’ll hex ya and then call you a brute.
Tell ya what, I really would not get so vexed,
Everybody must get hexed.

Well, they’ll AK you and say that it’s their job.
Then they’ll AK you and then they’ll join back up with their mob.
They’ll AK you when you’re studying for a test.
They’ll AK you when you’re playing wizard’s chess.
Yes, but I would not feel so dismayed,
Everybody must get AKed.

Well, they’ll curse you when you’re on the ‘fellytone.’
They’ll curse you when you are writing home.
They’ll curse you and then say they’re all brave.
They’ll curse you till you’re deep down in your grave.
But I would not feel any worse,
Everybody must get cursed.

Submitted by: Luna Goldstein