CC #339: Week of April 21, 2013
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‘Look, Dobby! There’s a sale on pillowcases at Target!’
-Denise
Dung: ‘Good gracious, Harry! Look at the news: Stolen Broomsticks rumored to be smuggled into the country before nightfall. Reckon there’s a chance I might make it?’
-Shashank
Mundungus: What’s an eight-letter word for ‘someone without pure wizarding blood’?
Kreacher: MUDBLOOD!
-Kyle
Mundungus: Oops, I grabbed the New York Times instead of the Daily Prophet.
Ron: Harry, they said you appeared naked and mutilated a horse!
Harry: Oh! Uh… that darn Rita Skeeter and her bag of lies! …what kind of review did she give me?
-Biff
If only they had noticed Kreacher standing there, the group would have realized that he was a skilled ninja. Alas, because of his superior ninja skills, they did not. And the work of seeking Horcruxes that would have taken Kreacher a week at best, was instead extended into months of tedium and hardship.
-Troi
Mundungus: The photos. They’re not moving!
Ron: *Scared* Make them start, Harry, make them start!
-Glen
Thanks to Rita Skeeter and the Daily Prophet, at precisely that moment, Harry learned the truth behind the biggest secret Dumbledore had yet concealed from him: Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore was, in fact, a world-famous Liza Minelli impersonator.
-Sasha
Ron: Here’s yours, Harry – Leo. Beware, for danger is heading your way. One who is close will betray you. Death is imminent.
Harry: So THAT’s where Trelawney got her predictions from!
-Nina
Mundungus: Yup, that’s right, kids! That was me during my Hogwarts days!
Trio: …
-Cassie
‘They’re making a Finding Nemo 2? I’m afraid that if we stop looking at it, the news will go away!’
-Jason
Headline: RITA SKEETER MOVES TO MUGGLE WORLD AND REVEALS OUR SECRETS! UNDER THE FAKE NAME, J.K. ROWLING.
-Apache
Ron: Oh, bloody Hell, ‘cloudy with a chance of rain’ – that’s horrible!
Harry: Ron, below that…
Ron: Oh, Harry Potter = Undesirable #1. I suppose that’s worse.
-Biff
Kreacher: ‘Nasty mudbloods… tall enough to read the newspaper…’
-Rachel
Harry: So, we didn’t win any Oscars…
Hermione: None…
Dobby: Well, that’s BS! My death scene had the world in tears!
Kreacher: Filthy Muggles… disrespecting the noble and most ancient fandom of Harry Potter…
-Cad24
‘It was my mama’s recipe. She called it, Sweeney Todd.‘
-Cynthia
‘BLOODY HELL! Kate let it slip! It’s a GIRL!’
-Jessica
Ron: So, you’re saying that if we go here – and surround the building…
Harry: WE could invade the Three Broomsticks…
Hermione: And get all the butterbeer we want?
Harry: Listen for my signal… when I say go, surround!
-Rachel
‘What?! That can’t be right. The Cubs win the Pennant! Is this a joke?’
-Jeff P.