CC #349: Week of June 30, 2013

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Harry and Hermione didn’t notice as their tent slowly fell off the cliff.
-Sam

‘Harry, I think we should go to Disneyland.’
-Mike T.

Hermione: *Reading* ‘Bee Tee Dubs, I’m gay. Harry’s a Horcrux, and Ron’s going to flake. All relevant. My final words to you all are: Nitwit, blubber, oddment, all that jazz – Dumbledore out.‘
-Rochelle

Hermione: Harry, I have to tell you something.
Harry: What’s wrong?
Hermione: I stole something from a shop.
Harry: Um, ok. I don’t really think the police are going to-
Hermione: -It was from Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes!
Harry: Calm down. I’m sure Fred and George will understand if you just-
Hermione: It was scissors. I stole a pair of enchanted Scissors. I knew it was wrong, but… they were so shiny… and I just took them!
Harry: Well, that doesn’t sound so bad.
Hermione: Those were the scissors I used for your haircut.
Harry: Er…
Hermione: *Hands Harry a mirror* I am so, so sorry.
-Jenny R.

Hermione: We’re definitely not lost.
*Penguin wanders by*
Hermione: Okay, maybe we’re a little lost.
-Sam

Hermione: *Looks concerned*
Harry: What’s wrong?
Hermione: *Groans with rage* THE LAST PAGE IS RIPPED.
-Sue

‘Are you sure I’m the father?’
-Roger

Hermione: ‘I can’t believe Lavender Brown sent me a copy of Twilight.’
-The Doctor’s Daughter

Hermione discovers the fourth Unforgivable Curse…
Hermione: ‘…and they named their baby North West.’
-Nicole DN

Hermione: ‘Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, of number four, Privet Drive, were proud to say that they were perfectly normal, thank you very much.‘
Harry: Do you have to include the Dursleys? Can’t you just skip to the parts where I kick ass?
Hermione: Well, where should I say you lived between the death of your parents and your arrival at Hogwarts?
Harry: Say that I lived with my pet monkey on the streets, where we had to steal to survive and dodge guards around every corner.
Hermione: Harry, that’s ‘Aladdin.’
-Sam

Hermione: It says here that Holland is a maritime region that lies on the North Sea at the mouths of the Rhine and the Meuse.
Harry: Hermione, one entry down.
Hermione: Oh, sorry… here we are. ‘Horcrux.’
-Biff

Harry: So, instead of Hogwarts, you Disapparated us to this barren wasteland where magic doesn’t work so we can’t ever leave?
Hermione: Yeah, didn’t think that through.
-Glen

Hermione: Ugh! Harry, look at this picture of Dumbledore!
Harry: Oh! That’s a lot more of Dumbledore than I wanted to see.
-Marielle

Hermione: See, the Elder Wand from The Tale of the Three Brothers is what Voldemort is after.
Harry: Are you sure?
Hermione: Positive.
Meanwhile…
Voldemort: I must find the Hopping Pot!
-Sam

Harry: Okay, now explain this to me. Why don’t the bears just eat Goldielocks when they see her in their house?
Hermione: I cannot answer this question, Harry.
Harry: Then what is the point of you?
-ApollosBaby

Hermione: ‘Harry, why do you have a book called Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches?’
-Makenna

Director: *Off-screen* ‘Look more depressed, guys! You’re killing the mood.’
-The Doctor’s Daughter

Hermione: We’re looking for a needle in a haystack.
Harry: There’s no need to be overdramatic.
Hermione: No. Voldemort literally turned a needle into a Horcrux and hid it in a haystack.
Harry: That bastard!
-Sam