67 Rejected Book Titles

by · November 27, 2013

 

Guaranteed to make you wanna read that book.

  1. Harry Potter and the Urinal of Wisdom
  2. There’s Something about Harry
  3. Harry Potter and the Trenchcoat Mafia
  4. Harriet Potter after the Life-Altering Surgery
  5. Harry Potter and the Carnivorous Pony
  6. Harry Potter Meets Mary Poppins
  7. Harry Potter and the Throbbing Muscle of Love
  8. Harry Potter and the Flobberworm from Hell
  9. Harry Potter and the Mysterious, Smelly Bathroom Stall
  10. Harry Potter and the Attack of the Rabid Snitch
  11. Harry Potter and the Parking Meter
  12. Harry Potter and the Unexplainable Wad of Tissues
  13. Harry Potter and the Mime that wouldn’t Be Quiet
  14. Harry Potter and the Absolutely Unnecessary, Stupid, Pathetic, Desperate, Elephant, Redundant, Stretched Out Way-Too-Long Title
  15. Harry Potter and the Pie Eating Contest
  16. Harry Potter and the Bald Potter
  17. Harry Potter and the Ketchup that Turned Green
  18. Harry Potter and the Case of the Clean, but Unfolded Laundry.
  19. Harry Potter and the Revenge of the Mean, Sinister, Deranged, Killer Bunny Rabbit of Death!
  20. Harry Potter and the Slimy, Oily, Greasy Haired Professor
  21. Harry Potter and the Enchanted Telemarketer
  22. Harry Potter and Professor Severus Snape’s Really Awesome Pink Boxers that Happen to be Worn Every Day of His Life
  23. Harry Potter and the Cursed Toilet Seat
  24. Harry Potter and the Dead Battery
  25. Harry Potter and the Rogue Thermometer
  26. Harry Potter and the 30-Year-Old Calendar
  27. Harry Potter and Lockhart’s Untamed Chest Hair
  28. Harry Potter Meets James Bond after James Bond Finds out he is a Wizard and Must Attend Hogwarts for His Own Good
  29. Harry Potter and the Gurgling Loo of Death
  30. Harry Potter and the Ring of Power
  31. Harry Potter and the Chamber Pot of Secrets
  32. Harry Potter stars in “Ginny and Colin’s Harry Potter Fan Club!”
  33. Harry Potter, The Fellowship of the Prophecy
  34. Harry Potter, The North Tower
  35. Harry Potter, The Return of the Headmaster
  36. Harry Potter, The Many-Faced Menace
  37. Harry Potter, Attack of the Muggle-Borns
  38. Harry Potter, Revenge of the Death Eaters
  39. Harry Potter, A New Hope
  40. Harry Potter, The Dark Side Strikes Back
  41. Harry Potter, Return of the Wizard
  42. Harry Potter and the Post Pubescent Temper Tantrum
  43. Harry Potter and the Royal Mail Strike
  44. Harry Potter and the Strange Disappearance Of The Film Reviewer
  45. Harry Potter and the Gringott’s Bank Job
  46. Harry Potter and the Over-Hyped Film
  47. Harry Potter and the Clever Marketing Campaign
  48. Harry Potter and the Never Ending Stream Of Merchandise
  49. Harry Potter And The Spinning Grave Of Tolkien
  50. Harry Potter and the Long Lost Father – Mr. D Vader
  51. Harry Potter – It’s SO Unfair!
  52. Harry Potter Solves Manchester United Defence Problem
  53. Harry Potter Repairs The Ozone Layer
  54. Harry Potter and the Raising Of The Titanic
  55. Harry Potter and the Ratings War
  56. Harry Potter and the Magic Mushrooms
  57. Harry Potter and the Screaming Heebeegeeebees
  58. Harry Potter and the Lurve Potion No. 9
  59. Harry Potter and the Dragon’s Breath
  60. Harry Potter Scores a Hat Trick and wins the World Cup for England
  61. Harry Potter The Broom of Doom
  62. Harry Potter and the Mysteries of Windows 2000
  63. Harry Potter Solves Third World Debt
  64. Harry Potter and the Enchanted Cheesegrater
  65. Harry Potter Launches His Own Cook-in-Sauce
  66. Harry Potter and the Freak Broom Handle Accident
  67. Harry Potter and the Goblin’ Teasmade

Submitted by: Multiple contributors including the B.B.C., Rachel, Kali, Krysta, Kaitlin, Elpaso1234, Brittany and Christy.

Eric S.

Eric Scull joined MuggleNet in November of 2002. Since that time, he’s presided over a number of sections, including name origins and Dear Hogwarts, but none so long as the recently revived Crazy Caption Contest. Eric is a Hufflepuff who lives in Chicago and loves the outdoors.