Fantastic Beasts: Gang of Pixies Kidnaps Chocolate Lab

A Muggle Alaskan couple’s chocolate Lab, who had gone missing, was found last week at a US Coast Guard base. The couple lives on an Alaskan island situated across the water from the base. The dog reportedly had no prior fondness for the ocean or swimming. Muggles assume a boater pulled up to the couple’s dock and took the dog. However, the American Ministry released a statement today claiming that the dog was kidnapped by a gang of pixies—just one more in a slew of incidents stemming from the breeding of beasts for the upcoming fantastic beasts film.

One day prior to the Lab’s disappearance, the American Ministry arrested Feline Faerie for breeding without a license. When Ministry authorities arrived at his residence on Pennock Island, the door was barricaded. After blasting their way in, officials were attacked by over one hundred pixies fleeing the residence. Faerie was found tied up, gagged, and hanging from a chandelier. After being released, Feline admitted that he had been breeding the pixies in hopes of selling them to Fantastic Beasts producers. He claims that if Ministry officials hadn’t interfered he would have gotten the criminal creatures back into their cages,

Just lettin’ them out for a bit of exercise…

The American and British Ministries would like to remind the wizarding public that only licensed breeders currently under contract with the Fantastic Beasts films have permission to breed for the movie.

Eighty-two of the pixies are still at large. Alaskan residents are being asked to keep pets and small children indoors and to proceed with caution. Pixies are pranksters but can be a very real threat.

-Scribble Inkwell, Daily Prophet