Who Wore It Better: Dolores Umbridge or Queen Elizabeth II?
Well, hello out there, my beautiful readers! Yet another month has gone by, making it time for another edition of Witch Weekly’s “Who Wore It Better?” As always, I, Gilderoy Lockhart, will serve as an expert opinion as we examine a match-up of a popular magical figure and a Muggle celebrity. As I was sipping my tea this morning, I flipped through the Daily Prophet, coming across a lovely piece about the improvements in the inner workings of our Ministry. There were a few references back to the old regime that ran things during the Second Wizarding War, something about Muggle-born registration, and so on. These were all laws that have since been eradicated, but that’s as far as I read. I was quite distracted by the picture of an ex-ministry official. You will see this witch featured in this month’s match-up. Now, let us discard our rose-colored glasses and take a deeper look at these two ladies’ fashion choices, shall we?
On the left of this match-up, we have Dolores Umbridge, who, at the height of her career headed the Muggle-born Registration Commission. There are no pink jumpsuits in prison, unfortunately, so she is no doubt sporting some ghastly horizontal stripes these days. On the right is Muggle Queen Elizabeth II. These two ladies obviously have an ardent love for the color pink. Pink is not as ravishing as, say, lilac, but it is a splendid color nonetheless. Look at how these ladies adorned themselves with fantastic hats perched upon their roller curls. The finishing touch of a broach adds a level of sophistication. While both women executed color matching and headgear flawlessly, it is my duty to my readers to take a deeper look at these outfits to determine a true winner. Dolores, while I commend her for her adventurous experimentation in proportions with that cropped jacket, seems to have thought a mixture of texture between the fuzziness of her clothing and the ruffle of her hat and trimmings were a good idea. Simply put, they were not. Queen Elizabeth has demonstrated great cohesion within her look, not adding an overabundance of materials, but keeping things simple and seamless. Therefore, the queen clearly wins this edition of “Who Wore It Better?” Until next time, my lovely public! Stay radiant!
Gilderoy Lockhart
Order of Merlin (Third Class)
Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League
Five-Time Winner of Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award
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