Who Wore It Better: Dobby or Justin Bieber?

Good day to you, magical world! This is Gilderoy Lockhart with Witch Weekly’s “Who Wore It Better?” It has been a whole month since we last spoke, but it is always as if I’m greeting an old friend every time I reach through these glossy magazine pages and into your loyal hearts. Speaking of hearts and the giving of glorious gifts, ‘tis the season, so you may find me quite a bit more generous in my review this month than I normally would be. I believe in the season of love and generosity, however, so I will do my utmost to give each of our contenders a fair but kind evaluation in the spirit of the holiday season. Now, let’s meet this month’s pairing:

On the left is Dobby the house-elf, who was once employed by known Death Eater family the Malfoys. The elf is also known to have been in Harry Potter’s inner circle, which is strange since Mr. Potter was the master of his own house-elf, so why would he need the service of a free elf? On the right is just as much as a mystery, a young man by the name of Justin Bieber. Instead of falling in the role of a follower to someone famous as Dobby did during his life, Mr. Bieber has his own band of followers who call themselves “Beliebers.” I cannot decide if this is just a misunderstanding of the spelling of “believer” or if this group of people actually has changed the word to illustrate a sort of religion toward this Canadian singer and performer. Either scenario is equally as odd and concerning.

Dobby is wearing a pillowcase that is not tied in any flattering way around his small frame. Mr. Bieber is also wearing a pillowcase that’s only alterations are added arms and a hood. I’m sure it is a high-end pillowcase that cost a good many Galleons. It compliments his socks quite nicely. Oh dear, it seems as if no amount of holiday spirit can really mask the plain and simple truth: Mr. Bieber is wearing a pillowcase voluntarily, while Dobby had to because it was all he had. Let us hope someone with impeccable taste has Mr. Bieber on their shopping list this Christmas since he could do with an upgrade to his wardrobe. Until next month, my lovely readers. Stay radiant!

Gilderoy Lockhart

Order of Merlin (Third Class)

Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League

Five-Time Winner of Witch Weekly’s Most Charming Smile Award

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