Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes Presents Extra-Strength Solar Defense Elixir
From the minds that brought you Skiving Snackboxes, Extendable Ears, and Decoy Detonators comes a new product specially designed to improve your quality of life at home or on holiday…
Fred and George Weasley understand all too well the struggles faced by those of fair complexion during the sunny summer months. From ghostly pale to clotted cream skin tones, ginger wizards everywhere risk turning Gryffindor crimson when out for a friendly Quidditch scrimmage or a garden de-gnoming. But we’re not the only ones in danger! Magical people of all shades can benefit from taking added precautions when the clouds part.
Created over years of experimentation using ingredients silently borrowed from Severus Snape’s potions stores, Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes is proud to present Extra-Strength Solar Defense Elixir! Available as a spray or a cream, a single application provides long-lasting protection for up to 12 hours! Resistant to water, sweat, and troll bogies, it’s like the Elixir of Life for your skin, keeping you safe from sun damage whether you’re relaxing by the Black Lake at Hogwarts or breaking into cursed pyramids in Egypt. It’s stronger than a Shield Charm and more fashionable than a wide-brimmed hat! Our elixir was inspired by a Muggle invention known as “sunblock” or “sunscreen” but utilizes magical herbs and techniques only dreamed of by Muggles. After extensive testing, side effects no longer include purple freckles or spontaneous invisibility.
Extra-Strength Solar Defense Elixir has been endorsed by the Chudley Cannons Quidditch team.
“It’s a lifesaver!” exclaims Cannons Keeper “Pitiful” Pasty Perkins, who holds the record for most failed saves in a single season. “If this stuff defended against Quaffles the way it blocks UVA and UVB rays, we might actually have a chance of winning a match!”
It’s not only witches and wizards who need to take care of their skin. Our elixir is safe and effective for all magical species, from grindylows to goblins!
Even the tough skin of a giant could use some extra protection. Hogwarts gamekeeper Rubeus Hagrid raves about the good our elixir has done his half-brother, Grawp.
“Grawpy tends ter pull trees down – by accident o’ course, just gets a little overexcited – an’ then he’s exposed ter the direct sun. He’s really quite delicate, but Fred ’n’ George have got ’im covered! George – or was it Fred? I can’ tell the difference – brought me a special extra-large bottle, since Grawp’s got a lot ter cover.”
“Tanks, Hagger!” says Grawp.
“These wizards are barely more than younglings, and yet they have a grasp of mysteries beyond their age,” says centaur Firenze. “We do not use the products of humans lightly, but their great wisdom is appreciated by those of us who saw the signs in the heavens of an unusually scorching season from the summer solstice until the autumnal equinox.”
The testimonials say it all! Don’t shrivel up like Devil’s Snare at the sight of the sun! We here at Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes enjoy helping our patrons fake illness and injury but prevent actual bodily harm.
Already have a burn? Try WWW’s Alleviating Aloe Veela Vera, brewed with the assistance of secret Veela magic! Tested on actual dragon burns (you’re welcome, Charlie), it’s guaranteed to cool and soothe even the most horrific heat-related injuries.
So come on down to Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes, Number 93, Diagon Alley, for all your summer needs!
