CC #447: Week of May 16, 2021

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“Now, Dan, in this next take, don’t bite Ralph’s finger.”
—Lucas

Daniel Radcliffe = me
This statue = all of my responsibilities
Mike Newell = my imposter syndrome
Robert Pattinson in the back = my worsening mental health
Hand holding the clapboard = Netflix asking me if I’m still watching
—Anna

“You will stay here until you say, ‘I’m Team Edward.’ Say it!”
—Hot Stu

Man: “Hairspray! Wonderful invention, just wonderful. Look, I can poke it and pat it, and it stays in place!”
Dan: “…Who are you?”
—Harry

Mike Newell: “I’d introduce you, but word has it you’re almost as famous as me these days.”
Daniel Radcliffe: “What are you talking about? You’re just the guy who did Four Weddings and a Funeral.”
Mike Newell: “Hey, I also directed Mona Lisa Smile… and some episode of The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles.”
—Sam

Mike Newell: “I rebuke you, Voldy! Come out of this boy, and get back on your mark so we can finish this scene!”
—Friend of Fawkes

And then, Voldemort was replaced by someone even more evil, the man who decided Goblet of Fire would be one film.
—Sam

Cedric: “Uh, Harry! He’s livestreaming again!”
Voldemort: “Yo, what’s up, YouTube! Today we’re here with the boy who lived.”
Harry: “Voldemort! I’m having my makeup done. Could you have waited?”
—HumbleHufflepuff

“So, you have a COVID haircut but not a COVID face mask. Why is that?”
—Sam

Robert Pattinson notices he stepped in dog sh**.
—Roxanne

Daniel Radcliffe: “At the end of the series, Harry marries Ginny, Ron marries Hermione, Neville marries Hannah, Draco marries Astoria, and Voldemort dies.”
Mike Newell: “So you’re saying there will be four weddings and a funeral?”
—Sam