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  • The Dirigible Plum / The Quibbler

What To Do When Your Younger Sibling Doesn’t Get a Hogwarts Letter on Their 11th Birthday

by Sas L. Rhodes · September 25, 2021

We’ve all been there; little Timmy or dear Dahlia turns 11 and excitedly waits by the window all day, scanning the horizon for an owl carrying the letter.  Timmy’s hopes and dreams are all hanging on this feathery delivery, and it doesn’t come. Worst. Birthday. Ever. Disaster. Tears, tantrums, and bad tempers are a potential possibility, so what do you do? Is it hopeless? No. We here at the Quibbler have come up with ten ways to console, consolidate, or commiserate with your little sibling that are guaranteed* to cheer them up.

1. Pat them awkwardly on the back and leave the room. Let them live their own disappointment.

2. Use your best stern Dad voice and say: “that’s life,” then walk away. They’ll learn.

 

Source

 

3. Tell them this is/must be punishment for annoying you all those times. [Insert most annoying trait they have here.]

4. Buy them ice cream – 11-year-olds like ice cream, right?

 

Source

 

5. Create some Pollyanna vibes by saying, “Cheer up – the worst is yet to come!” Then go on to talk about mortgages, bills, and adulting.

6. Google a list of hobbies that could take their mind off their impending depression. Some notable hobbies are:

    1. Preserving fruit
    2. Extreme ironing
    3. Dirt polishing
    4. Mooing
    5. Duck herding
    6. Collecting navel fluff

 

Source

 

7. If you can, book them a trip to your local wizarding world store and let them pick their own wand. (Note, this could backfire and make them feel worse, but we wager it’s only a 50/50 chance).

8. Convince them that they are actually ten years old and they have skipped a year by mistake. This will give you at least another year to plan for what to do next time.

 

Source

 

9. Tell them your family is actually all Death Eaters, and you don’t go to Hogwarts.

10. Introduce them to MuggleNet and let them discover a plethora of wizarding world content, magical moments, and people who have not given up hope that one day they will receive their letter to Hogwarts.

 

MuggleNet staff members and “Harry Potter” actors celebrate a successful event after MuggleNet Live!: 19 Years Later.
MuggleNet staff posing for a group photo at Leaky Con
MuggleNet Pensieve NYCC Group.

 

*All tips are absolutely NOT guaranteed. The Quibbler takes no responsibility for any family rifts one or all of these tips may cause.

 

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