11 Things the Marauders’ Roommate Probably Wondered During His Years at Hogwarts

You know how the Gryffindor boys’ dormitories accommodate five occupants each… Haven’t you ever wondered what it must’ve been like for the ill-fated fifth roommate of the Marauders when they were studying at Hogwarts? These are probably some of the thoughts that went through his head. 

1. I could’ve sworn James was here just a second ago.
2. How stupid are these three that Remus had to draw them a map?
3. It’s eerily quiet tonight… I wonder which unfortunate Slytherin they are out pranking.
4. Should I be concerned about the 12 boxes of Dungbombs under Sirius’s bed?
5. Did Remus just pull out that chocolate bar from his sock?
6. Merlin, why is Potter so pathetic? I swear to Godric Gryffindor if I have to hear about Lily’s luminous locks one more time…
7. Why the hell does Black always smell like a wet dog? 
8. Why is Sirius talking to a deer?
9. …Wait, why is there a deer in our dorm?
10. What the hell is a Wormtail?
11. Why couldn’t the Sorting Hat have put me in Hufflepuff?

Whoever that dude was, he must’ve had the patience of a saint. Wherever he is, I hope he’s doing well.