CC #479, Week of October 23, 2022

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Fat Lady: “Password?”
Seamus: “Gryff!nd0r_1.”
—Amanda

Me and my friends in line to buy tickets for the Taylor Swift Eras Tour.
—Eli

“Great. Some idiot glued himself to the Fat Lady’s portrait to protest House-Elf abuse.”
—Mark

When you have guests over and are showing off your excessive artwork collection.
—Hagrid’s Helper

Fat Lady: “Wait, wait. Seamus gave me a new song to sing.”
(Gryffindor student says password)
Fat Lady: (clears throat) “Never gonna give you up, Never gonna let you down…”
(everybody groans)
—Adrainn

Fat Lady: “Stop! In the name of me!”
—Crookshanks

Fat Lady: “Interrupt me just one more time, Gryffindork, and your password will be ‘#%*& %&&*!'”
—Friend of Fawkes

When In-N-Out tells the drive-thru line they ran out of fries.
—Ellie

When you accomplish something amazing but can’t do it in front of other people.
—Hagrid’s Helper

Girls in the portrait on the right: “All right, then; once the Fat Lady is done with her solo, we jump into ‘The Schuyler Sisters.’ The kids will love it!”
—Lauren’s Turtle

Fat Lady: “Stop right there! Nobody takes another step until you put on your magical masks!”
—Friend of Fawkes

Seamus: “Fortuna Major.”
Fat Lady: “That’s not what I want to hear.”
Seamus: “I won’t say it.”
Fat Lady: “Then you can’t come in.”
Seamus: (sighs) “Yes, you do look like you’ve lost a few pounds.”
Fat Lady: “Enter.”
—Liam

Dean: “Is that a portrait of Voldemort?”
—Lizards

Seamus: “C’mon! I’ve got to go to the loo!”
Fat Lady: “Not my problem, Baby Bladder! I’ve got high notes to hit and a glass to crack!”
—Friend of Fawkes

Fat Lady: “No, you’re not coming in until Harry sings my favorite Weird Al song.”
—Sam

Fat Lady: “Quick, off the stairs! This set vanishes for an hour every 100 years. You only have seconds!”
Student: (laughing) “Yeah, right. You just don’t want to open right—”
(stairs vanish)
—Troi