CC #489, Week of June 25, 2023

⬇️⬇️ Scroll down in the below area to read all captions from this week! ⬇️⬇️

Harry: “Darn it! I lost my Fitbit in the graveyard!”
Mad-Eye: “Don’t worry about it, Potter! My Wiz-Bit Eye can tell you how many steps are left in your life!”
Harry: “Wait, what?”
—Friend of Fawkes

Harry: “Wormtail cut my arm open!”
Moody: “With that haircut, you may have had it coming.”
Harry: “You have literally the same haircut, Professor!”
—Sam

Moody: “I don’t know if anyone has told you this, Harry, but you’ve got your mother’s lice.”
—Nav

Harry: (thinking) “Dumbledore, Mad-Eye! When am I going to get some real medical attention?”
—Friend of Fawkes

Moody: “Hmm, should I just whack Potter over the head with my walking stick? Nah, I’ve got to do this thing properly, with monologuing before killing the hero.”
—Sam

“I’m sorry! Don’t tell mom! I didn’t mean to hit you so hard. Here, hit me back.”
—Deletha

My mum after picking me up from the school nurse after me faking a broken wrist to get out of math.
—Someone

Harry: “Sir, I’m starting to think that you might be the Death Eater who put my name in the Goblet of Fire.”
Moody: “Why would you think that, son?”
Harry: “Well, there’s a giant ‘I heart Voldemort’ poster on your wall.”
Moody: “Darn it, I knew it was a mistake to bring that along!”
—Sam

Mad-Eye: “Man up, Potter! Quit whining about your little scratch. Wait ’til you lose an eye. Then you can complain!”
Harry: (thinking) “Why did Dumbledore think this nutter would be a motivational influence on me?”
—Friend of Fawkes

Inappropriate times to start a conga line.
—HKS

Harry: “Why is there a guy with scissors in here?”
Moody: “Have you seen your hair? It’s time for a trim!”
Harry: “NOOOOO!”
—Madame M.

Harry: “Professor, do you ever use that magical eye to look at naked people?”
Moody: “What use would it be on people who are already naked?”
Harry: “I meant… Oh, never mind!”
—Sam