CC #496, Week of January 14, 2024

⬇️⬇️ Scroll down in the below area to read all captions from this week! ⬇️⬇️

My face when I’m trying to scroll my phone and watch a movie at the same time.
—Nina

Man on the left: (thinking) “This is it… my big break. I just hope they remove my bald spot in post like they said they would…”
—Basil

Cashier: (thinking) “This is the last time I agree to work the graveyard shift! These blokes haven’t ordered a single thing!”
—Friend of Fawkes

Muggle waitress: “You think we might end up together?”
Harry: “Don’t count on it. You’re not even canon.”
—Sam

Harry: “Pretty sure Death Eaters can’t see me if I hide behind this newspaper.”
—B.B.L.N.

Muggle waitress: “Funny thing. I thought I saw a picture in your newspaper move.”
Harry: “Funny thing. I’m going to gaslight you about seeing that.”
—Sam

Waitress: “I swear I saw that photo move. Who’s Harry Potter?”
(The man behind Harry gets up and quickly leads the waitress outside then comes back in.)
Man: “Sorry, Mr. Potter. She was asking too many questions. So I gave her a Portkey to the Arctic Circle.”
—Josh

“How can I possibly decide which juice I want without a menu?”
—Friend of Fawkes

“You want me to read this? Weird. In the Muggle world, we just use newspapers to wrap fish.”
—Glen

“Let me think. Nine letters, starts with a V. Darn these Muggle crossword puzzles!”
—Friend of Fawkes