Sorting “Star Trek: Enterprise” Characters into Their Hogwarts Houses

by Erin Hart

Oh, Enterprise: the black sheep of the Star Trek family. Given its reputation, when I first watched it, I was surprised by how much I liked it. It’s interesting to see Starfleet before the Federation even existed, when every world being explored is a strange new one, rules like the Prime Directive are being figured out on the fly, and transporters exist, but everyone’s too freaked out to use them. It certainly had its shortcomings, but it embodies the Star Trek ethos of exploration. I won’t lie: I even like “Faith of the Heart.” But in which Houses do the crew members’ hearts lie?

 

Captain Jonathan Archer – Gryffindor

 

 

Co-creator Rick Berman described Archer as a mix between Chuck Yeager and Han Solo – certainly a Gryffindor combo. You have to be pretty bold to be the first captain of a warp-five vessel. He rushes headlong into danger, even when another crew member could just as easily do the job. Archer also has a proud, headstrong streak, as shown by his frustration over the Vulcans holding back his father’s work. While he shows a Slytherin side in Season 3, when he makes some thorny ends-justify-the-means decisions, in the end, he belongs in Gryffindor.

 

Sub-Commander T’Pol – Ravenclaw

 

 

Science officer T’Pol is tough to Sort because too often, her character is only treated as a hottie in a tight jumpsuit. But Vulcans generally are very Ravenclaw, and the brilliant, serious T’Pol is no exception. Even as she’s exasperated by Archer’s emotionality, her logic balances him out well. Unlike the other Vulcans, who are dismissive of humans, T’Pol shows a Ravenclaw open-mindedness and curiosity.

 

Commander Charles Tucker III (Trip) – Hufflepuff

 

 

The Enterprise’s wholesome country boy, Trip is friendly, cheerful, and hardworking. He dedicates himself to his job as chief engineer, and he boosts morale among the crew by hosting movie nights. Trip is loyal to his longtime friend Archer, and he’s devoted to his sister and nephew back on Earth. He stands up for what’s right, even if that means disobeying orders, like in “Cogenitor.” All this puts him squarely in Hufflepuff.

 

Lieutenant Malcolm Reed – Slytherin

 

 

The Enterprise’s chief tactical officer is another tough nut to crack; he’s notoriously so closed-off that his own family could not name his favorite food. But playing your cards close to your chest is itself a Slytherin trait. Malcolm is shrewd, serious, and dedicated to his job, holding his work – and the rest of the crew – to high standards. His ambition and pride show in Season 3, when he clashes with the head of the MACOs because he feels his authority is being undermined. Malcolm is also not averse to working in the shadows, having joined Section 31 early in his career – though, to his credit, he later soured on the organization. Ultimately, I place Malcolm in Slytherin.

 

Ensign Hoshi Sato – Ravenclaw

 

 

Fittingly for a communications officer, Hoshi is an enthusiastic lover of languages, speaking over 40 of them and helping develop the all-important universal translator. She’s an academic who would rather not deal with murderous aliens or space battles, but her passion for learning and discovery keeps her on board the Enterprise. Hoshi would delight in solving a riddle to get into the Ravenclaw common room.

 

Ensign Travis Mayweather – Gryffindor

 

 

Growing up in space gave Travis a sense of adventure. He hangs out in the “sweet spot” of the ship where the artificial gravity is upside down, his idea of relaxing on Risa is rock climbing on an ever-changing cliff face, and unlike most of the crew, he’s more intrigued by the transporter than terrified. Plus, he’s a pilot, which nine times out of ten means you’re a Gryffindor.

 

Doctor Phlox – Hufflepuff

 

 

There’s no question that the gentle, kindhearted Phlox belongs in Hufflepuff. You can just imagine him lovingly caring for all the magical plants in the common room. And his menagerie of alien animals brings to mind another Hufflepuff who loved fantastic beasts…

 

Bonus: Porthos – Hufflepuff

 

 

I couldn’t write about Enterprise characters without mentioning the ship’s resident good boy. Porthos is a Hufflepuff because dogs are Hufflepuff by default. Just don’t feed him too much cheese!