Chamber of Secrets Rhapsody
to the tune of “Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen
HARRY:
Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Caught by the Dursleys, now locked up for eternity.
Open my eyes, look up to the skies and see…
RON:
I’m just a poor boy,
Dad’s flying car with me
So come on, we’ve got your things
HARRY:
Let Hedwig out to stretch her wings…
UNCLE VERNON:
I will get you yet, boy
When you will come home, you will see
HARRY:
We’ll see…
King’s Cross, barrier’s closed
What now, it’s very far
RON:
So come on, we’ll use the car.
Flying, hoping no one will see.
HARRY:
Yet we’ve crashed into a Whomping Willow tree!
RON:
Harry, oo-ooo
My wand’s broken in two.
SNAPE:
You are expelled from Hogwarts, both of you.
MCGONAGALL:
No you’re not,
No you’re not.
LOCKHART:
Given you a taste for fame
HARRY:
Malfoy, has his time come
Is he Slytherin’s heir?
If so, Muggle-borns beware!
MALFOY:
I wish, everybody, I knew who it is.
PROFESSOR BINNS:
Why, the Chamber of Secrets is just a myth!
DOBBY:
Dobby, ooooo,
Doesn’t want Harry dead
But now Dobby has to go and iron fingers
HARRY:
I hear a little voice that no one else hears
JUSTIN FINCH-FLETCHLEY:
Who’s the heir? Who’s the heir?
LOCKHART:
Who has seen my pink curlers?
FILCH:
The chamber is now open!
The wall bears a new slogan!
See?
HERMIONE:
A basilisk!
MADAME POMFREY:
They’re petrified!
HERMIONE:
A basilisk!
FUDGE:
By the monster!
LUCIUS MALFOY:
Hagrid’s monster
HAGRID:
Aragog, my pet spider
GINNY:
I’m just a poor girl, nobody likes me.
MALFOY:
She’s just a poor girl from a poor family
RON:
Spare Ginny’s life from this monster that’s free!
HARRY:
I have come, we will go, will you let her go?
Tom Riddle!
RIDDLE:
No! I will not let her go!
HARRY:
Let her go! Tom Riddle!
RIDDLE:
I will not let her go!
HARRY:
Let her go! Tom Riddle!
RIDDLE:
I will not let her go!
GINNY:
Let me go!
RIDDLE:
Will not let you go
GINNY:
Let me go!
RIDDLE:
Will not let you go (never never never…)
GINNY:
Let me go!
RIDDLE:
No no no no no no no!
The basilisk! The basilisk!
GINNY:
Harry Potter, help me go!
HARRY:
Lord Voldemort was in his diary to get me,
Get me, Get m-e-e-e-e-e!
RIDDLE:
So you think you can beat me with a phoenix and a hat?
So you think you can kill me and leave it at that?!
Oh, Harry, can’t do this to me, Harry
You’ve killed me this time,
But I’ll be back and you will be mine
LUCIUS MALFOY:
Nothing really matters
Anyone can see
DUMBLEDORE:
Of course, it really matters
You’re behind this whole conspiracy
DOBBY:
This sock makes Dobby free…
Submitted by: sexy_fleur
