Sorting Singers into Hogwarts Houses
The Sorting Hat is a wonderful example of how magic turns the ordinary into the extraordinary. Music has the same powers. Some modern musicians are so good at their craft that people suspect the influence of witchcraft and wizardry. Which House would these famous musical witches and wizards belong to at Hogwarts?
Stevie Nicks: Slytherin’s White Witch
Stevie Nicks might be the most infamous musical “witch” of modern times. Her association with witchcraft began in 1976 with her first contribution to Fleetwood Mac, “Rhiannon.” The song was magical for the band since it gave them their first taste of fame. Maybe it’s because the song invokes the influence of a powerful Welsh healer witch of the same name. Regardless, rock critics in the ’70s couldn’t write Stevie Nicks off as just another “chick singer.” She has embodied Rhiannon’s magic for decades and inspired generations of young women to tap into their inner witch.
Whether or not Stevie is a witch, she’s definitely a Slytherin. When Stevie got her big break and joined Fleetwood Mac, she didn’t let her breakup with bandmate Lindsey Buckingham overshadow her talent. Instead, she channeled her heartbreak into a breakup record that would cement Fleetwood Mac in rock history forever: 1977’s Rumours. Stevie, like a classic Slytherin, is keenly aware of her worth as an artist. When her song “Dreams” was shot down by the rest of her band, she insisted on its production. Now, it’s the only Fleetwood Mac song to debut at No.1 on the Billboard pop charts. Stevie also has that Slytherin dark side. She was a notorious party girl back in the day, and her habits devolved into pretty nasty drug addiction. Her demons haven’t got the best of her, however, and Stevie is going on a world tour next year at age 70.
Cher: Hufflepuff’s Pop Goddess
Cher has been a celebrated diva for decades. She’s an icon for her instantly recognizable voice and legendary performing chops (with an Oscar to show for it). Cher defies age. At 72, she still performs regularly and can hold a five-minute plank, not to mention she once told a CBS reporter that her secret to looking so good at her age was witchcraft.
Cher is a Hufflepuff because she earned her fame through tireless work. Her humble Puff nature is obvious in her beginnings as a performer. Cher underestimates herself to this day and said that she’s “not a Cher fan.” She never thought she could make it as a solo artist and was working in tandem with then husband Sonny Bono when her breakout song “I Got You Babe” hit the charts. When her career did take off, she continuously made her mark on pop culture through many reinventions in her music and her iconic fashion choices. Cher is loyal to her family and supported her transgender son, Chaz, through his transition. She also values justice, another Hufflepuff trait. Take a look at her Twitter feed recently: Cher is not afraid to speak her mind on politics (in all caps, nonetheless).
Prince: Gryffindor’s Revolutionary
Prince was an enchanting performer and devoted his life to producing groundbreaking music. I’m convinced that the limitations of the Muggle world did not apply to Prince: He was an amazing basketball player at only 5’3” and practically prophesied his own death in 1984’s “Let’s Go Crazy,” which is all about elevators as a metaphor for a higher plane of thinking.
Prince embodies a Gryffindor through the legacy he left on music history. His aesthetic brought a confident, daring sense of sexuality to popular music. In true Gryffindor fashion, Prince didn’t let rules limit his art. For example, the hypersexualized “Darling Nikki” on the album Purple Rain inspired Tipper Gore to form the Parents Music Resource Center in 1984. It’s why you now see parental advisory stickers on explicit record covers. Prince expressed loyalty through mentoring protégées like Janelle Monae. In 1993, he solved a contract argument with his record company by changing his name to an unpronounceable symbol. This switch allowed him to put out music much faster and restored Prince’s sense of artistic freedom. Prince was not afraid to pull some stunts for the greater good, much like the Gryffindor heroes we see in the Harry Potter series.
Björk: Ravenclaw’s One-of-a-Kind Witch
Listen to any song on this Icelandic singer’s discography and tell me she isn’t a witch. Björk even has a symbol from a 16th-century Icelandic book of magic tattooed on her body. Her career-long focus has been experimenting and exploring the relationship between nature and technology. Much like Luna Lovegood, Björk is a free thinker and would rather live in the world she creates than follow norms and tradition.
Björk takes Ravenclaw’s natural creativity and thirst for knowledge to new, unprecedented levels. She consistently adopts new technology into her work. Björk genuinely loves the world she’s learning from too and recently publicly criticized the industrial development happening in Iceland. To further her connection to Ravenclaw and the wizarding world, she’s teaming up with Harry Potter and the Cursed Child director John Tiffany for a super elaborate stage show next year.
Which House would you Sort your favorite musician into?
