CC #428: Week of August 23, 2020
⬇️⬇️ Scroll down in the below area to read all captions from this week! ⬇️⬇️
Harry: “Hey, Batman.”
—Josh
Harry: “What do you think you’ll do if the task goes poorly?”
Cedric: “Well, I’d probably be humiliated enough to turn to evil out of my hatred for society and end up joining the Death Eaters and ultimately killing Neville Longbottom. Lol, just kidding, can you imagine?”
—Spinelli
Cedric: “Oh, good, Harry, you’re here. We were just about to start story time.”
—Durso
Harry: “Knock knock.”
Cedric: “Who’s there?”
Harry: “You know.”
Cedric: “You know who?”
Other kids: “Pfffft.”
—Callie R.
Harry: “I know what you are.”
Cedric: “Say it. Out loud.”
Harry: “Hufflepuff.”
Cedric: “Are you afraid?”
Harry: “…No.”
—Sam
Harry: “Cedric, have you been spreading lies about me again? Give me that book.”
(Harry takes the book and reads aloud.)
Harry: “‘Cedric and Cho forever. Mr. Cedric Chang. Mr. and Dr. Cho Chang…’ Umm…”
—Chris Hemsunworthy
Dan: “What was it you wanted to talk to me about, Rob?”
Rob: “Yeah, do you know anything about this Twilight stuff? I got a call from my agent this morning…”
—Esperanza
Harry: “Cedric, I just wanna say, I think it’s great that Hufflepuff is getting the honor and recognition it deserves. You’re not the ‘irrelevant house’ everyone says you are. Anyway. Bye, Cedric, Hufflepuff 1, Hufflepuff 2, Hufflepuff 3, and Hufflepuff 4.”
—Mothgirl
Student 1: “What’s that book they’re fighting over?”
Student 2: “It’s called The Cursed Child.”
Student 1: “They’re fighting over who gets to keep it?”
Student 2: “No, over who DOESN’T have to keep it.”
—Sam
Harry: “Hey, Cedric, can I borrow your pen? I’ve gotta write a love letter.”
Cedric: “What is a ‘pen’?”
Harry: “Oh, sorry, I meant quill.”
Cedric: (while rummaging in his bag) “Hmm… who are you writing to, anyway?”
Harry: (blushes) “Cho!”
Cedric: “Cho Chang? Oh, sorry, mate, I’ve dumped all of mine in the lake.”
—Slytherin Grangerhead
Harry: “Why do all those buttons say, ‘fff-pfff-hfff-hff Potter pff-tff-‘?”
Cedric: “Oh, sorry, Harry. It’s Hufflepuff for ‘Potter Stinks.'”
—Hana Joy
Guys: “Read the badge, Potter.”
Harry: (reading) “‘Potter is dishonest, corrupt, crooked, deceitful, deceptive, false, fraudulent, misleading, shady, sneaky, underhanded…'”
—Josh
My sibling coming to talk to me when I hang out with my friends.
—Katie
Harry: “Bruce Wayne, Edward Cullen, Tyler Hawkins, Thomas Howard.”
Cedric: (nervously) “What are you talking about?”
Harry: “I found your fake IDs.”
—Kingsun
Hufflepuff Boy: “Nice hair, Potter, but not like Ceds over here.”
Harry: “‘Ceds’?”
—L
Harry: “If you don’t mind, I’m going away. Before any of you get another clever idea to get me embarassed, or worse, expelled.”
Cedric: “At least he has his priorities straight.”
—Lilly
“Whoa, Harry! Remember social distancing!”
—Phoebe B.
Harry: “So, you see, the only way for us to defeat our dragons is for you to stop dating Cho Chang and for me to start dating her.”
Cedric: “Do you really expect me to believe that?”
Harry: “Okay, not really, but it was worth a try.”
—Sam
Harry: “I saw those badges your friends are wearing.”
Cedric: “I’m sorry, Harry, I tried to tell them–”
Harry: “I don’t stink. I shower every day and use extra-strength deodorant. Overactive sweat glands are perfectly normal, okay?”
—Sarai
All eyes are on Harry while he captures the attention of Cedric. A little cropping to remove the background students, and Rita Skeeter’s dream article on the *ahem* tension between the two Hogwarts champions will achieve perfection!
—Troi
Cedric: “How can I ever thank you for tipping me off about those dragons?”
Harry: “Well, I’m on the outs with Ron right now, and I could certainly use a replacement.”
Cedric: “You want me to be your new sidekick?”
Harry: “Think about it.” (hands business card to Cedric)
—Sam
