Argus Filch’s Daily To-Do List

If you are anything like us, it takes a good ol’ to-do list in order for you to complete even a single task throughout the day. Because of this, we got to thinking of which Harry Potter character may keep their own little checklists, and after much deliberation, we have decided that Argus Filch would be the most likely candidate. Seeing as Filch is continually busy, from brooding for no apparent reason to scheming on how to get Peeves kicked out of the castle, it is quite probable that he writes out a catalog each morning. Therefore, we have provided you below with a draft of what we are convinced Argus Filch would include in his daily itinerary.

1. Ruin the days of at least five students before breakfast, preferably by giving out detentions.

2. Complain to Irma once again about how corporal punishment is no longer “acceptable.”

3. Ask Professor Dumbledore if said corporal punishment could be reinstated.

4. Confiscate the contents of the Weasley twins’ pockets before they drop Dungbombs down a corridor.

5. Feed Mrs. Norris.

6. Complete a Kwikspell lesson in secret.

7. Terrorize a few more kids.

8. Make sure my jowls are quivering.

9. Oil the manacles… just in case.

10. Confront random children about tracking dirt into Hogwarts.

11. Chase after Peeves for pulling a prank.

12. Give up chasing after Peeves.

13. Ask the Bloody Baron to chase Peeves instead.

14. Attempt to convince Professor McGonagall that Peeves deserves to be banished from Hogwarts.

15. Make fried fish for dinner and share it with Mrs. Norris.